what happened?

What happened to me blogging more often?

I'll tell you what happened... I became a failure at living successfully these past couple of months.

What do I mean by that?

I have failed at doing anything really productive, being spiritually lazy, and even running consistently.

I'd like to blame the heat for all of these things, and I can sort of blame the running part on that.
However, it's not the case with the other parts of my being.
I know people go through seasons of things and what not, but this is getting old and tiresome.
I'm in a state of indifference and I'm not sure how to get out of it.

So I apologize if I've been less than my normal self... I'm sure things will get better.
That's a good thing and a bad thing about life.
The only guarantee is that everything changes, nothing stays the same.

busy business.

I have become a slacker again.  That's okay.

I have a week and 4 days off from work, but I have so much to catch up on I feel like it's going to go by fast.  I originally planned to go on a vacation but that didn't pan out.  I'm bitter happy that it worked out this way.

I'm in the process of finding a house to rent so my little Dexter boy will have a yard to play in and I can hopefully get another dog for him to keep him company.

My running has not been as good as I would like.  With the weather being 100+ degrees everyday, the only time I can effectively run is early in the morning.  There are two problems with that; one being that I'm NOT a morning person, and the second is that when I am up that early it's because I just finished a 12 hour shift and I'm pretty exhausted.  I'm hoping to still do the half marathon in September, but if not then the Route 66 Half is definitely on!

I have started rowing with my hospital's corporate rowing team.  My friend has done it for a few years now and she loves it.  It's a really good workout and you use your legs and back more than I thought.  I'm excited to really get into it... although there is a tiny part of me that fears I may be like this lady:

thighs.

I really don't like my thighs.  I'm sure I'm not the only woman who doesn't like their thighs, but they are really annoying.

As a runner, and I guess I can consider myself a runner, they are inconvenient.
In the summertime in Oklahoma it is hot. 105 degrees hot.
Mind you, I don't run in that heat, but in the morning and late evening it doesn't usually get really cool.

I would enjoy running in shorts, however no matter how much I work out and how much I try to eat well, I cannot get rid of the tops of my thighs touching.

Maybe this is TMI?

It's very uncomfortable running for a long distance in the heat and the tops of my thighs are rubbing together.  No matter how much body glide I put on (the exercise stuff, not the sexual stuff), it only helps for a mile then it wears off.

I've actually considered liposuction.  I know it's extreme, but for now I've decided against it.
Mainly because I'm too scared I'm going to develop some kind of blood clot or never wake up from anesthesia.
Also because you have to wear compression hoses for about a month and a half and I'm not about to wear those in this heat.

They say you can't spot reduce, but if anyone has any ideas... let me know.
Ahhhh the curse of being a lady.  ;-)

fine line.

I found there is a fine line between being a worry-wart people pleaser and a don't give a crap b-word.

I haven't really found the balance.

I lean more toward the worry-wart people pleaser and I wish I wasn't that way.

I feel as though I'm constantly trying to read people's faces and body language.  All the while I am trying to figure out if I've done something to them, or if this or that blah blah blah.
It's really tiring and I'm so exhausted from it.

I want to just be.

I know a few people who are on the other side of the spectrum.  Totally rude, b-words, and plainly awful to be around.  Although I feel like that's a mask as well and they are just trying not to be hurt.

Can't I just stay in the middle of those two?

If anyone knows how to get there, please let me know.  I'm worn out.

hobby lobby*

*this post has nothing to do with the store or being crafty


I have had 2 dreams that I post a blog with the title "hobby lobby"  I thought I'd better do it, so maybe I'd stop having this dream.

Dreams are strange, at least mine are...  As long as I can remember I've had vivid dreams.  It seems as if I dream all night long.  Sometimes I can even control them.

I dream a lot because I sleep a lot.

Last night/today I slept for 15 hours.
Last week there was a night/day that I slept for 15 hours.
There were potty breaks for me and my dog... you can't sleep that long without using the bathroom.
It seems as if I sleep a lot more these days, and I'm not sure if it's because night shift is starting to take a toll on my body?

I really love sleep though.  Some days when I don't get enough sleep, like when I watch Cora after a 12 hour night shift, and then she doesn't sleep... it wears me out.
After those days, my body is usually like, "Hey woman, what happened to the beautiful 15 hour sleep days we've been having?  They've been great, let's go back to that."

I'm not really complaining... I won't go to day shift for a reeeeeeaaaallly long time if I can help it.
I love my night shift crew.  We are a different kind of breed and you wouldn't understand unless you worked night shift, but we are really cool.

all the single ladies

People ask me on a daily basis, it seems like anyway, are you married or have a boyfriend?

The answer is no.

There are many reasons why I am still single and I am honestly okay with that.

Some people find it hard to believe that I am okay with being single.

I am.  

Every now and then I'll get a pity look when I answer no, and then a reply of, "Oh that's okay, it'll happen."

Yeah, I know it's okay, but thanks for validating that.

annnnnd

No, you don't know that it will happen.

A few reasons I'm single:

- I'm very independent, I don't handle the "where are you going? when will you be back?" sort of thing very well.

- Commitment scares me.

- 80% of single men are douche bags. (Not all... I did give 20% leeway)

- I've had some bad dating experiences.  (I know I can't let one ruin it all, and believe me, after some of the dates I've had it's amazing I haven't become a nun or something.)

It's very tiring explaining to people why you are single and I seriously get asked it all of the time.

I just smile and say, "Nope, it's just me and my dog."

I know I probably come off as a crazy dog lady, but it usually makes people stop asking questions.

I'll try to remember to share some bad dating stories every now and then on here... 

Hey. I can't give up all my tricks at once.

new.

I decided to jump back on the blogging wagon because a few people have inspired me to do it.

I wanted a change to my blog name.

I figured "sort of a woman" would be perfect for these reasons:

- I'm 25, so to a lot of people I'm still young... although I'm halfway to 50.
- I do not feel like a woman.
- I do not feel like a girl.
- This reminds me of the Britney Spears song, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman"

Anyway, I'm embracing the new and not just in this blog.
Life is ever changing, that is something we can count on.
Nothing stays the same, which is good in some cases.

New things in my life that I have not updated on.

- Baby Cora is here! 

- I ran three 5k races, and one 10k race.

-I got a root canal that failed. (I'm not really sure why I'm sharing that, but it's new..)

- I changed to Float Pool at work, so that's a nice change of scenery at times.

Super exciting, right?  Yeah... this is why I don't blog much.  

Oh well, I'm going to continue to bore you with my single half-girl half-woman life.